UPDATE and Real Life Thoughts, Feelings, and ..things..

Here we are..last September at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra, Fl. Would not have ever guessed I would be at a place like this. This is what happens when you take action in faith, even in the presence of fear.  We humans tend to get afraid of the unknown. It's unknown because we've not been there, done that, or been exposed to it yet. We know how to do where we're at and where we've been. Even if we don't like it, we do it because we know it and it's safe. The issue with this is, we are ever evolving creatures. We crave expansion and if we do not grow, we die. Maybe not leaving the earth dying...but the passion for life dies. A sense of settling, kind of giving up...thinking maybe it wasn't really meant to be afterall and I really should just be ok with the way things are. And..gratefulness and gratitude for what is, is essential. That doesn't mean we aren't allowed to explore anymore.

The world is big. There's a lot out there. Not everyone has the same dreams. We have dreams for a purpose...we just don't know what it could possibly be so we talk ourselves out of it based on REALITY. Dreams vs. Reality.

We wrote a while back and talked about how we had decided to explore moving. From the time we met, 13 yrs. ago now, we have talked about moving. We both get really excited about the idea of going somewhere new and seeing what it's all about. Meeting new people, having a new experience, and being a changed person as a result of new-ness, adventure and exploration..of a place and of ourselves. Not everyone has this same pull. Others have different desires. What we know for sure is that this has been ours. What we also know is that we want to know we had courage and we gave life our best efforts, no matter the results. So.....we have taken steps towards this event. We have had a realtor to the house who is a long time friend of ours and that feels good. Someone who knows you, has grown up with you and knows life is full of experiences that make us rich in our soul because of what they bring out in us. We have had contractors here to do some bits of work so the house is ready to sell. We have reached out and made contacts and we have a plan to visit Florida next month and find out more when we get there. We've also had opportunities pop up out of the blue in the opposite direction we had in mind on the west coast!! Whoa!! We remain open and we take steps. We go through excitement then bouts of fear. We're human. This is a big step. I have all kinds of thoughts and ideas and desires both in pursuit of this and in recoiling and questioning it all. There have been times when the mere thought of selling our house and uprooting into a brand new experience literally brings a wave of nausea. That fire you feel when you're about to do something big. These feelings could easily make me think that we must be doing something wrong or else I wouldn't feel afraid. But, that is not true. Even in the midst of the changing tides of feelings that come up around this, we can and we do still take steps.

We are not doing this because life isn't good. LIFE is REALLY good!! It's so full and rich with lessons and depth it can be overwhelming at times. I have moved around quite a bit. Maybe not like a child that grows up in a military home but I made some moves. I started my life in Texas, moved to Washington State, and all through high school went back and forth a few times. Moved to Colorado then moved here to Arkansas. Keith and I actually moved to Asheville, NC for a short time several years ago. After a few moves, moving wasn't a big deal. You want to go somewhere?? Go. It's never felt this big before. Living here in a state that I did not feel connected to has taught me so much. It has been major schooling on connecting to me. That, ladies and gentlemen, has not been easy. Getting to know myself (and still doing this all the time), the good, the bad and the ugly..the pretty, the fun and the miserable...not always a fun experience. But...I have a level of self love and acceptance more than ever before. Actually, I just didn't even know I didn't have that before. Not feeling like where you live is home, will make you find home inside yourself...if you so choose.

I look forward to this adventure with Keith. What else is possible??? : )

This happened on our drive back home. That is me in the ocean. Those of you that know me....I don't know...I felt moved. I do not usually swim in the ocean. I watched the movie Piranah as a child and JAWS..so I don't swim in the ocean. : ) I like to see what's swimming around me. I'll get in and play near the shore but that's about it. When we arrived here, something came over me. It was so beautiful and I HAD to get in the water! I almost couldn't believe it myself. And yes, still near the shore but more free than ever before. I didn't want to get out. I still have no words for how it felt. Maybe it was similar to facing a fear and growing past your limits. I had this feeling when we got in the car to come home that I knew I would go for it. I knew I had to live my life in a way where if fear was the only reason I wouldn't do something....then that was no reason not to. This is applying to something I feel I would like to experience and fear being the only thing stopping me. Not simply saying no to an experience that doesn't feel right.

Stay tuned as we venture forth! We will be as surprised as you! : )